Sinneswahn

This is a simple recipe to prepare and a good example of what you can do with the basic Tuscan White Beans from yesterday. The earthy mushroom flavor pairs well with the smooth and nutty quality of the beans. Lettuce, especially a sturdy crispy romaine, undergoes a transformation in taste when you grill it. It becomes smokey, with a much deeper flavor. It may sound strange to cook lettuce but you should try it. The trick is to cook it briefly, so that the edges are very slightly charred, and not overcook it. Using a bitter lettuce in addition to the romaine adds another layer to the dish; the lemon really cuts through the bitterness.

Some (say, my dog, for instance) don't like bitter things; it can be an acquired taste. I grew up eating all kinds of weird things, and I really like bitterness, or how a squeeze of lemon or an acid complements it. If you aren't like me, you might substitute grilled red onion or fresh spinach leaves, or a crisped-up slice of prosciutto, for the bitter lettuce.

A word about mushrooms...I'm lucky because here in Germany, there is not an overwhelming choice when it comes to seasonal organic produce at my neighborhood "whole foods" equivalent (not even close). But what they do have is only what's in season and, most importantly, locally grown. It's not a have-everything-all-the-time sort of culture. The mushrooms I used here, called Kräuterseitlinge (king trumpet or king oyster mushroom), was the available item this week and I know (and can taste) that I'm eating something in its proper season. In Spring, and late summer, we'll have Pfifferlingen (Chanterelles) and I would use those. The seasonal mushrooms are going to have the most flavor, so try to find out what's seasonal where you live.

Ingredients

1 head crunchy romaine lettuce, leaves separated;
1 handful of bitter greens, like escarole or radicchio, leaves separated;
1 cup Tuscan White Beans, room temp;
2 handfuls seasonal wild mushrooms;
1 lemon;
2-3 stalks fresh thyme leaves;
olive oil;
sea salt and pepper;

Method

In a very hot pan, quickly saute the mushrooms (dry) until nicely browned, about 4 minutes. Set aside.

Add a little olive oil to the pan and add the lettuce leaves. Brown the leaves on both sides, flipping with tongs, until just wilted, and squeeze in half a lemon (2 minutes). Season with salt and pepper.

Arrange lettuce on plate, top with mushrooms and white beans. Sprinkle with a little olive oil and the picked thyme leaves. Serve with lemon.

Serves 1 or 2.

Thank you, Foodista, for making me Blog of the Day!
Mushrooms

It's a funny thing, that when you are feeling bad inside, you can lose that connection to what you enjoy most. When you lose a sense of joy in your life, you lose your passion for creating. My most basic instinct is to cook; I feel complete, confident, satisfied, happy, and needed, when I cook. But now, I am feeling uneasy in my life - it is hanging off my shoulders like someone else's coat - and for awhile cooking seemed nothing more than an effort. Akin to getting out of bed and getting dressed when you feel sick. Or walking the dog on a gray and rainy day. So, in January I started getting lazy with my food. I would rather sit at my laptop and re-watch Top Chef while eating whatever, than cook for myself. Let's face it, cooking for yourself all the time can start to drag after awhile. You end up in a sad little party of one, talking to yourself, like Mr. Flood:

"Well, Mr. Flood, we have not met like this
In a long time; and many a change has come
To both of us, I fear, since last it was
We had a drop together. Welcome home!"

Convivially returning with himself,
Again he raised the jug up to the light;
And with an acquiescent quaver said:
"Well, Mr. Flood, if you insist, I might."

Knowing my love for cooking, I had a hard time figuring out why I'd settled for cucumber slices or crackers and cheese, a bowl of fruit, or a bag of pretzels. I wasn't cooking. I thought, "Meh."

Part of it, I guess, is winter....months of below-freezing, miserable weather that makes you want to hide until the sun comes out again. Eat chocolate and hibernate and tell me when it's over. Most of it, though, was not having anyone to cook for. With family and friends (my most appreciative customers) far away, going into the kitchen to cook is comparable to opening an empty restaurant every day.

Well, there it is. Feeding people makes me feel needed. When people aren't there to need you, it's hard to remember what you need yourself. It is easy to get lost. Luckily the food blogging world and inspirational chefs provided me with a trail of brioche crumbs to follow home.

Even though we are still in the deep throes of winter, the snow sliding off of the roof, under the reluctant sun, makes me feel hopeful.

This is a new month. I'm taking my cooking life back. Today, I went to the market and felt that joy again, of being excited about ingredients, of being inspired, of admiration for clumps of dirt on the stacked vegetables that assert freshness. I set a pot on the stove and went to take a shower in a sunny bathroom. The apartment was filled with the lovely aroma of slow-cooking white beans, with fruity olive oil, garlic, and sage, by 11 a.m.

So I guess the message is this : You can be there, or not, but I will be there...there is always space at my table, a friendly ear, a glass of wine, and measureless love that has made you something good to eat.  It doesn't matter if that makes me simple. I'm getting Maria back. Not uncertain Maria. Maria that cooks, the one that feels happy and confident when I spill my market treasures onto the table, when my hands and my heart know exactly. exactly. what I should be doing.

Tuscan White Beans

Makes a bunch

I put some aside for a few meals, to mix into cold salads or reheat as a side dish for any protein. I jar the rest with their liquid and boil the jars, the way you would with jam. You can store them in the fridge for a few weeks.

Ingredients

1 lb. dried medium-sized white beans;
4 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil;
2 cloves garlic, crushed;
4–5 fresh sage leaves;
10 red and white peppercorns;
Salt and freshly ground black pepper;
2 stalks celery, chopped;
sea salt

Method

Sort through beans for things that aren't beans, and rinse them under cold water. Put beans in a large bowl and cover with cold water. Soak overnight.

Drain the beans and put them in a pot with 12 cups cold water, the olive oil, garlic, sage, chopped celery, and peppercorns. Cover and simmer over medium heat for about an hour. Season with salt, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer gently for another 1 to 2 hours, stirring occasionally until beans are soft.

Once the beans are cooked, allow them to cool in the liquid. This will take another hour or so. When you serve them, season them again with salt and pepper and drizzle them with a little olive oil.

Uses for white beans

Toss them into a warm salad, like Sauteed Greens with Wild Mushrooms and Tuscan White Beans.

White Beans