Sinneswahn

tomato time

2011-09-10T17:09:57Z

raw zucchini, tomatoes, red onion, bocconcini, bacon, basil

My dad has been bringing me the most luscious tomatoes. Alas I know, while being overwhelmed with the amount of produce flowing from his garden, the time for eating tomatoes that taste like tomatoes lasts precious little.

My ode to tomatoes. Thank you, Dad.

now THAT'S a tomato

This lovely, warm Grilled Eggplant appetizer :

If I had kept my tomato in the fridge, this would have been yuck. But it is verdict : Yummy because the tomato was flavorful and juicy from being left on the windowsill. Cut the tomato into thick slices and sprinkle with sea salt. Let them sit on the counter while you prepare the eggplant.

Right : the eggplant. You're thinking about how sketchy it is to get eggplant right, but here's my trick : make a little vinaigrette with any leftover pieces of tomato (diced) and fresh herbs and toss the eggplant slices in this vinaigrette before putting them on a very hot grill. Let them char on each side for a few minutes, and then finish them on a tray in a low oven (275-300F), drizzled with a bit of olive oil (if you like), until you are ready to assemble the plate.

Then, creatively layer the sliced tomato and eggplant, and top it with some cheese love and fresh basil. If you have any vinaigrette left over, drizzle that over the top, too.

grilled eggplant stacked with tomato and fresh farmer's cheese

This pizza :

Use your favorite recipe to make pizza dough or buy a good quality premade dough.

Something really simple that I often do, that gives an additional layer of flavor is to pour about a half cup of good olive oil into a small container, add some peppercorns, a small crushed clove of garlic (those little ones from the middle work great!), and thyme. Let it infuse while you prepare your recipe. Before adding the toppings, brush the pizza dough with this oil.

The zucchini, about 1 medium, is julienned and sprinkled over the slices of my dad's fresh tomato that make up the first layer of topping. If you like, you can toss it first with a little of that oil and a tsp of fresh lemon zest.

Take some time to caramelize a sliced red onion. It adds a richness and sweetness to the pizza, that contrasts well with the bacon. I don't use a lot of bacon but there are two kinds: Canadian bacon, which is very low in fat and calories (20 calories/slice!), and crisped-up turkey bacon (35 cals).

And then there's the cheese ... mmm, cheese. To keep it light, I usually mix fresh farmer's cheese with a little parmesan and use it like goat's cheese on the pizza. Farmer's cheese is great because it tastes rich, like ricotta, but only has 40 calories per 2 tablespoons. But, is IS pizza after all ... Fresh mozzarella bocconcini, just a couple, shredded over the top, make the pizza creamy and indulgent.

I grilled my pizza on a pre-heated pizza pan for about 20 minutes. Verdict : Yummy.

pizza on the grill

Expectation

2010-08-01T16:54:41Z

a wish

2010-05-30T12:55:48Z

So I started a tradition for my birthday last year, to take a "bared" photo ... this is me, just out of the shower, real and unmade. This is me, a year older. I am not a person who likes pictures of herself. (Ask my family, all photos seem to "disappear"). It's a tough thing to do. You've seen me fail three times at the 365 project. But, every so often, I think it is a good exercise in not taking myself too seriously, which I do more often than not. It's a good exercise in growing comfortable with getting older. Not that I'm comfortable with it. Just sayin'.

I'm not exactly what I want to be, nor where I want to be. I can look back at that photo from a year ago, though, and say to myself ... that is where I came from ... and here I am now, at another starting point, and it's not a bad place to begin again.

In about two weeks, I am making a fresh start, moving from one country to another, back home. I have no idea what is going to happen. I know what I wish for.

And, since it is my birthday, I do get a wish. I will share that wish with you.

I wish that in a year from now, I will take this birthday photo again, and see the same hope in my face, see that love in my eyes realized, see the worries that wrinkle my forehead and cause shadows under my eyes gone, and not be the only one in the photo. I want to take that photo with people around me who love me.

It's a good wish, I think.

grilled octopus (demystified)

2010-05-01T07:41:28Z

The octopus dish I grew up eating was served as a traditional cold salad on Christmas Eve, and was among my favorites of my Mom's dishes. Meaty, lemony chunks of boiled octopus tossed simply with celery and olive oil. We would pick at it in the kitchen (ok, we picked at everything she made) while she was at the stove with her back turned to us. Even my young nieces picked at it. Cold octopus. Seriously.

I encountered a small octopus at the fish store this weekend, brought the little critter home ... and as it was probably the last nice weather for days, decided mmhhmm, definitely grilling it. Definitely enough to share!

But how to grill an octopus? Hmmm. Good one. There are a wide range of conflicting recipes out there in cyberspace ... the main drama being whether to boil it (or not) before grilling. That is the question. Some very tempting recipes simply threaded marinated octopus pieces on skewers and grilled them briefly. I say tempting because the alternative is to beat the crap out of the thing, or freeze it, and boil it for hours, standing over it, babying it, testing it with a knife every five minutes. Not exactly what you want to be doing all afternoon on a sunny day.

Octopus is suprisingly expensive, at least here in Germany. While I could get whole fish, like loup de mer or dorade, for 5.99 a kilo, octopus was a whopping 15.99 a kilo. So obviously I didn't want to ruin it. I searched for solid advice and finally decided ... yea, you have to boil it.

I found this old but good article on the NY Times website: Embracing the Octopus. It included a variety of lovely recipes, including one for Grilled Octopus. I used the recipe as a guide for boiling the octopus, changing it to reflect my own flavor profiles and experience. They boil the octopus with a head of garlic cut in half, a whole lemon halved, bay leaf, thyme, and peppercorns.

My 1 kg, or 2.2 lb, octopus took a little over an hour before I felt it was tender; it was iffy business; however, Rick Moonen gives you a good tip -- treat the octopus like a boiled potato. Test it with the tip of a thin, sharp knife and when it gives little resistance, you can take it out and drain it. Slice the legs off, keeping them whole, and cut the body into large chunks (don't bother with the head though).

From there, I squeeze all the cooked garlic cloves (why waste soft, sweet garlic!?) into a bowl, with 2 ripe tomatoes, the juice of 2 lemons, 4 celery stalks and their leaves, sea salt and pepper, a shot of good olive oil, and a few chili flakes. Marinate for about 35 minutes or until ready to grill. Reserve the marinade and grill the octopus pieces over high heat for about 3 - 5 minutes, turning periodically, until slightly charred. Put the grilled pieces back into the bowl with the celery/tomato/garlic/etc mixture. Cover and let rest for about 5 minutes. Tender and yummy.

egg white cauliflower omelette

2010-02-28T15:37:48Z

Sauteed Greens with Wild Mushrooms and Tuscan White Beans

2010-02-02T22:44:00Z

This is a simple recipe to prepare and a good example of what you can do with the basic Tuscan White Beans from yesterday. The earthy mushroom flavor pairs well with the smooth and nutty quality of the beans. Lettuce, especially a sturdy crispy romaine, undergoes a transformation in taste when you grill it. It becomes smokey, with a much deeper flavor. It may sound strange to cook lettuce but you should try it. The trick is to cook it briefly, so that the edges are very slightly charred, and not overcook it. Using a bitter lettuce in addition to the romaine adds another layer to the dish; the lemon really cuts through the bitterness.

Some (say, my dog, for instance) don't like bitter things; it can be an acquired taste. I grew up eating all kinds of weird things, and I really like bitterness, or how a squeeze of lemon or an acid complements it. If you aren't like me, you might substitute grilled red onion or fresh spinach leaves, or a crisped-up slice of prosciutto, for the bitter lettuce.

A word about mushrooms...I'm lucky because here in Germany, there is not an overwhelming choice when it comes to seasonal organic produce at my neighborhood "whole foods" equivalent (not even close). But what they do have is only what's in season and, most importantly, locally grown. It's not a have-everything-all-the-time sort of culture. The mushrooms I used here, called Kräuterseitlinge (king trumpet or king oyster mushroom), was the available item this week and I know (and can taste) that I'm eating something in its proper season. In Spring, and late summer, we'll have Pfifferlingen (Chanterelles) and I would use those. The seasonal mushrooms are going to have the most flavor, so try to find out what's seasonal where you live.

Ingredients

1 head crunchy romaine lettuce, leaves separated;
1 handful of bitter greens, like escarole or radicchio, leaves separated;
1 cup Tuscan White Beans, room temp;
2 handfuls seasonal wild mushrooms;
1 lemon;
2-3 stalks fresh thyme leaves;
olive oil;
sea salt and pepper;

Method

In a very hot pan, quickly saute the mushrooms (dry) until nicely browned, about 4 minutes. Set aside.

Add a little olive oil to the pan and add the lettuce leaves. Brown the leaves on both sides, flipping with tongs, until just wilted, and squeeze in half a lemon (2 minutes). Season with salt and pepper.

Arrange lettuce on plate, top with mushrooms and white beans. Sprinkle with a little olive oil and the picked thyme leaves. Serve with lemon.

Serves 1 or 2.

Thank you, Foodista, for making me Blog of the Day!
Mushrooms

return to joy

2010-02-01T10:21:00Z

It's a funny thing, that when you are feeling bad inside, you can lose that connection to what you enjoy most. When you lose a sense of joy in your life, you lose your passion for creating. My most basic instinct is to cook; I feel complete, confident, satisfied, happy, and needed, when I cook. But now, I am feeling uneasy in my life - it is hanging off my shoulders like someone else's coat - and for awhile cooking seemed nothing more than an effort. Akin to getting out of bed and getting dressed when you feel sick. Or walking the dog on a gray and rainy day. So, in January I started getting lazy with my food. I would rather sit at my laptop and re-watch Top Chef while eating whatever, than cook for myself. Let's face it, cooking for yourself all the time can start to drag after awhile. You end up in a sad little party of one, talking to yourself, like Mr. Flood:

"Well, Mr. Flood, we have not met like this
In a long time; and many a change has come
To both of us, I fear, since last it was
We had a drop together. Welcome home!"

Convivially returning with himself,
Again he raised the jug up to the light;
And with an acquiescent quaver said:
"Well, Mr. Flood, if you insist, I might."

Knowing my love for cooking, I had a hard time figuring out why I'd settled for cucumber slices or crackers and cheese, a bowl of fruit, or a bag of pretzels. I wasn't cooking. I thought, "Meh."

Part of it, I guess, is winter....months of below-freezing, miserable weather that makes you want to hide until the sun comes out again. Eat chocolate and hibernate and tell me when it's over. Most of it, though, was not having anyone to cook for. With family and friends (my most appreciative customers) far away, going into the kitchen to cook is comparable to opening an empty restaurant every day.

Well, there it is. Feeding people makes me feel needed. When people aren't there to need you, it's hard to remember what you need yourself. It is easy to get lost. Luckily the food blogging world and inspirational chefs provided me with a trail of brioche crumbs to follow home.

Even though we are still in the deep throes of winter, the snow sliding off of the roof, under the reluctant sun, makes me feel hopeful.

This is a new month. I'm taking my cooking life back. Today, I went to the market and felt that joy again, of being excited about ingredients, of being inspired, of admiration for clumps of dirt on the stacked vegetables that assert freshness. I set a pot on the stove and went to take a shower in a sunny bathroom. The apartment was filled with the lovely aroma of slow-cooking white beans, with fruity olive oil, garlic, and sage, by 11 a.m.

So I guess the message is this : You can be there, or not, but I will be there...there is always space at my table, a friendly ear, a glass of wine, and measureless love that has made you something good to eat. It doesn't matter if that makes me simple. I'm getting Maria back. Not uncertain Maria. Maria that cooks, the one that feels happy and confident when I spill my market treasures onto the table, when my hands and my heart know exactly. exactly. what I should be doing.

Tuscan White Beans

Makes a bunch

I put some aside for a few meals, to mix into cold salads or reheat as a side dish for any protein. I jar the rest with their liquid and boil the jars, the way you would with jam. You can store them in the fridge for a few weeks.

Ingredients

1 lb. dried medium-sized white beans;
4 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil;
2 cloves garlic, crushed;
4–5 fresh sage leaves;
10 red and white peppercorns;
Salt and freshly ground black pepper;
2 stalks celery, chopped;
sea salt

Method

Sort through beans for things that aren't beans, and rinse them under cold water. Put beans in a large bowl and cover with cold water. Soak overnight.

Drain the beans and put them in a pot with 12 cups cold water, the olive oil, garlic, sage, chopped celery, and peppercorns. Cover and simmer over medium heat for about an hour. Season with salt, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer gently for another 1 to 2 hours, stirring occasionally until beans are soft.

Once the beans are cooked, allow them to cool in the liquid. This will take another hour or so. When you serve them, season them again with salt and pepper and drizzle them with a little olive oil.

Uses for white beans

Toss them into a warm salad, like Sauteed Greens with Wild Mushrooms and Tuscan White Beans.

White Beans

Sauteed Escarole with Radicchio

2010-01-04T14:50:55Z

I love greens!

sorrow

2009-12-28T06:48:34Z

One of the hardest parts of coping with death is the being left behind, and the worldly evidence of their existence that suddenly becomes so meaningful.

apple zucchini crostini

2009-12-27T11:45:15Z

What kind of appetizer do you make when you have almost 40 people for Thanksgiving?